Understanding Polyvagal Theory: How Your Nervous System Shapes Your Well-Being

Have you ever wondered why you suddenly feel anxious in a crowded room — or why you freeze during conflict, even when you want to speak up? These experiences may not just be “in your head.” They’re deeply rooted in how your nervous system responds to the world around you.

That’s the heart of Polyvagal Theory, a groundbreaking framework developed by neuroscientist Dr. Stephen Porges. This theory explores how our body’s automatic responses — like the urge to flee, freeze, or engage — are guided by different parts of our nervous system, each having evolved during different periods in the past. Our nervous system determines how we perceive our environment, as safe or dangerous. Understanding this mechanism can help us to feel safer, calmer, and more connected in everyday life.

What Is Polyvagal Theory?

At its core, Polyvagal Theory explains how the autonomic nervous system (ANS) reacts to perceived safety or threat. It’s like your body’s internal surveillance system—constantly scanning your environment for cues of safety or danger, even without your conscious awareness. Dr. Porges calls this subconscious process neuroception.

Depending on what it senses, your body shifts automatically into one of three physiological states, each motivated by protection:

1. Ventral Vagal State – The “Safe and Social” Zone

This is your calm and connected state. When you feel safe, your nervous system activates the ventral vagal pathway, allowing you to relax, engage with others, and feel present.

You may feel:

• Calm and grounded

• Open and curious

• Emotionally balanced and socially connected
  

How to stay in this state:

• Practice deep breathing

• Engage in meaningful conversation

• Spend time with people who make you feel safe
  

2. Sympathetic State – Fight or Flight

When your body detects a threat, it triggers the sympathetic nervous system, preparing you to either fight or flee. This is useful in genuine danger, but many of us live here chronically due to stress.

You may feel:

• Anxious or agitated

• Angry, restless, or defensive

• Like you need to act or escape
  

How to regulate this state:

• Engage in physical activity (walking, yoga, dancing)

• Use grounding techniques, such as touching a familiar object

• Practice slow, intentional breathing

3. Dorsal Vagal State – Fainting or Shutdown

If your nervous system senses that escape or defense isn’t possible, it may trigger the dorsal vagal pathway, leading to shutdown or disconnection. When a person does not have the possibility to physically disappear, they can psychologically disappear through disassociation.

You may feel:

• Numb or emotionally detached

• Tired, foggy, or hopeless

• Withdrawn from others
  
  
  

How to shift out of this state:

• Use gentle movement, like stretching or walking

• Seek warmth or comforting sensations (blankets, hot drinks)

• Connect with someone supportive, even silently

Perhaps less known, but crucial for applying the theory to navigate in and out of ‘stuck’ states is that the above-mentioned nervous system states function in a hierarchical manner. When there is a perceived challenge/stressor the nervous system reacts hierarchically first switching off ventral vagal tone, the increasing sympathetic tone then with a surge in dorsal vagal tone. 

Why is this important?

Understanding the hierarchy allows us to navigate it. The hierarchy is bi-directional, so when we can activate ventral vagal it will override the older states like sympathetic or dorsal which is the roadmap to help navigate out of shutdown or sympathetic (fight/flight) states.

The Role of Relationships in Regulation

One of the most profound insights from Polyvagal Theory is this: your nervous system responds to other people.

Safe and supportive relationships are essential for nervous system regulation. Eye contact, soothing tones, gentle touch, and presence can all signal safety to the body — even when words aren’t spoken.

When you co-regulate with others, you help calm each other’s stress responses. This is why connection is more than emotional — it’s biological.

Practical Daily Tips to Support Your Nervous System

Here are small, intentional practices you can use throughout your day to promote regulation and resilience:

Morning:

• Begin with a few minutes of deep breathing or gentle movement.

Midday:

• Take a mindful walk in nature. Pay attention to your senses—what you hear, smell, and see.

Evening:

• Engage in a calming routine. Dim the lights, listen to soft music, or connect with loved ones.
  

Why Polyvagal Theory Matters

Understanding your nervous system empowers you to manage stress, improve your relationships, and build emotional resilience. Rather than blaming yourself for feeling anxious, shut down, or reactive, Polyvagal Theory encourages compassion. It reminds us that our body is simply trying to protect us.

With this knowledge, you can begin to respond with awareness rather than react automatically — and that can change everything.